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Books : Humour : Essays
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How to Wrestle Free From an Alligator: 4. If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (for example, a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Though it's being marketed as a "humorous" title--after all, it's unlikely you'll be called upon to land a plane, jump from a motorcycle to a moving car or win a sword fight--the information contained in The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is all quite sound. Authors Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht consulted numerous experts in their fields (they're cited at the end of the book) to discover how to survive various and sundry awful events. Parachute doesn't open? Your best bet for survival is to hook your arms through the straps of a fellow jumper's chute--and even then you're likely to dislocate both shoulders and break both legs. Car sinking in water? Open the window immediately to equalise pressure, then open the car door and swim to the surface. Buried in an avalanche? Spit on the snow--it will tell you which direction is really up. Then dig as fast as you can. Each survival skill is explained in simple steps with helpful illustrations. Most stress the need to be prepared--both mentally and physically. For example, to escape from quicksand, you will need to lay a pole on the surface of the quicksand, flop on your back atop the pole and pull your legs out one by one. No pole? No luck. "When walking in quicksand country, carry a stout pole--it will help you get out should you need to."
Hopefully you'll never need to know how to build a fire without matches, perform a tracheotomy or treat a bullet wound. But in the words of Survival Evasion Resistance Escape Instructor "Mountain" Mel Deweese, "You never know." --Sunny Delaney
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Piven and Borgenicht's Worst-case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel is, like their previous bestseller The Worst-case Scenario Survival Handbook, a pithy, witty and surprisingly useful guide to getting through life's stickier patches with body, soul and even dignity intact.The difference here is that the authors have addressed the kind of glitches, pitfalls, disasters and conundra one might encounter when sojourning in distant or hostile lands. Hence there are sections offering advice on: How to Control a Runaway Camel; How to Survive in Frigid Water; How to Pass a Bribe; How to Deal with a Tarantula; and so on. Some of the problems and chapters might seem a little far-fetched and remote (How to Cross a Piranha-infested River); others all-too local and everyday to be confined to a travel book (How to Survive a Mugging). Each and every chapter is clearly written, accompanied by simple but effective illustrations, and derived from the accumulated wisdom of top survival experts in various armies, navies, academies and universities. There's also a very handy appendix dealing with general travel tips, such as which thumb-gestures to avoid when you don't want to insult the natives, and how to say, "Hello, I have been seriously wounded" in Japanese. This is a must-pack for all modern adventurers. --Sean Thomas
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